âIf we could find a way
To get inside
Each other's mind,
If you could see you
Through my eyes
Instead of your ego
I believe you'd be
Surprised to see
That you've been blind.â
- Joe South
Joe South wrote a song called, âWalk a mile in my shoes,â and it was recorded by Elvis Presley in 1970. The point is to consider another personâs point of view because you canât truly understand their experience.
Tony (not his real name) can give you two views regarding gender diversity in the trucking industry. His alter ego, Tina, is a professional driver and owner-operator. I met him at a truck show and was interested in his perspective. He shared his story with me to provide our readers a different view from a âfemaleâ driver perspective.
If you looked at Tony you would think he resembles a middle-aged computer programmer, which is his former profession. He started driving in 1994, and has been over the road since 1998. Heâs married and has five grown children and is Tony when heâs not in his truck.
Why would Tony change into Tina when he goes to work? It all started when he decided to conserve fuel and began driving under the speed limit. He started getting harassed from other drivers on the CB. Theyâd make comments about the âold manâ behind the wheel. He noticed that they didnât seem to give female drivers the same scrutiny, so he thought heâd test his theory and he purchased a wig!
Suddenly, no one said a word about his speed as they believed he was a female driver. If he left the wig on when he went into a truck stop, everyone just assumed he was a hippy with long hair. Tony decided to add to the ruse and started dressing in womenâs clothing because he was aware of the disrespectful stares he received when people saw him as a hippie. This didnât really change things much, so he figured he needed to look more the part of Tina, so he took it further and wore long sleeves and high neck lines, until he decided to shave his body hair and added shape wear and prosthetics to be more realistic.
By this time, Tina was his persona when he was in the truck and making deliveries. Tina was treated differently than Tony, and most everyone seemed more helpful and were overall nicer to her. Tony explains this by saying folks are just more polite and tolerant of questions Tina had to ask. They are also much more likely to strike up a conversation with Tina than they were with Tony. Some people wondered if Tina was transgender, but others accepted her explanation that she had taken hormones for a while, which made her voice lower and face more masculine.
When asked for an ID at shippers or for law enforcement, Tina shows Tonyâs CDL and explains the temporary gender change. When on the job and is not being asked for an ID, she is sometimes asked about her gender but always insists she is a woman. Tony admitted, âMy objective is to pass as a cisgender* female.â Tina says that near as she can tell, the appearance and persona projected is complete and other than her two âtells,â she is accepted as female. Spending extra time on her appearance and voice complete the picture.
When asked about the response from Tonyâs family, he said his wife (who is aware of Tina) is married to Tony and Tina only appears when he leaves home and enters the truck. In fact, many of her customers have never met Tony and just accept Tina as she makes her deliveries. âIâm in an occupation where once I get in the truck and leave the yard, no one knows who I am,â he said.
In Tonyâs experience, he feels, âthere is a definitive half step nicer,â when it comes to how female drivers are treated. âAs women, you donât see this,â he added. âI canât define it, but itâs a different level of respect.â He feels that because women have been treated this way for most of their lives, they donât see this as âbetterâ but just ânormalâ.â He also believes that the fact that female drivers are still in the minority could be part of the reason for the difference in treatment towards women in this industry.
Tony has no plans to physically change his gender and he is happily married to his wife of nearly thirty years. His children are aware of his work transformation. One of his sons is in the process of changing from a male to female as transgender, and Tony is supportive of the decision.
When asked about the future, Tony said he will continue to be Tina until he retires. He lives by the adage to âBe Nice.â Although, from his perspective he feels that women are âexpected,â to be nicer, he has always lived by that motto, and itâs served him well as a professional driver.
Joe South was right when he wrote, âI believe youâd be surprised to see that youâve been blind.â None of us can truly understand another personâs perspective until weâve walked a mile in their shoes. Tinaâs shoes are different than Tonyâs, and her insight into how female drivers are received in this industry is her own, but one worth sharing.
*cisgender is a person whose gender identity corresponds with the sex registered for them at birth
Written by Ellen Voie, Founder of the ÎçÒčÊÓÆ”.
As a member of the ÎçÒčÊÓÆ”, stay on top of emerging trends and business issues impacting transportation, logistics, and supply chain operations, learn the importance of gender diversity in the workplace and the need for more women drivers, and see best practices in encouraging the employment of women in the trucking industry. Learn More